International Relationships with 'Austria' and That Other Guy
by Themulchmeister
Summary: A Hetalia short about Australia but from New Zealand's perspective. Big Oz has just turned 18, but is growing tired of Britain and America and looks East for new friends. New Zealand is also waiting to hear back from his own much-needed confidant.


After finishing off the complete Axis Power series of Hetalia, I felt like writing my first (and possibly only) Hetalia fic. Just a little oneshot dedicated to two characters I believe are yet to appear in the actual Anime (but I really hope they too, because, because, well I'm Aussie dammit!).

Anyway I tried formatting it like one of those short episodes of Hetalia so it's fairly simple narration and mainly dialogue so don't be too picky about that please. Also since I tried keeping a few of the Anime episode conventions here's a breif guide:

This font is just normal story and dialogue

_This is used for flashbacks with ~These squiggly tids for text~_

**_And then of course I needed something for Jamie Marchi's narration voice (Because her Hetalia narrations are hilarious!)_**

So this little update will allow me to leave possibly a final fanfiction update before I go away. Also like the dub version, I tried to write Australia's dialogue in an accent (ironically New Zealand's dialogue [and everyone else] is unaccented and thus normal) and as always with Hetalia, there are bound to be sterotypes and jokes that will probably offend...but that's why I love Hetalia so much! Now bon appetit and enjoy!

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International Relationships with Austria and That Other Guy

Hello. My name is New Zealand. You may not have heard much about me, but you might know about my big cousin Australia. Cuz has turned 18 today which means he can finally (legally) drink and has been hanging out and partying with his mates Britain and America all day.

I don't like it when Cuz gets drunk.

"ARGH! F^&%n 'ell! I'm oveh those c^%$s America and Britain!" Australia curses loudly as he collapses through the door – a powerful odour of alcohol coming off of him.

I stand up off the sheepskin couch and head towards the door. "What's wrong Cuz? Didn't you have fun with your mates Britain and America for your birthday?"

"Agh f*&# it all! I'm gonna find some new mates to hang out with!" Big Cuz declares in his alcoholic rant. "I'm f%#$ing 18 years old now! I ain't a goddam kid anymore!"

"Yeah, yeah." I say to assure him as I lift his bulky upper body off the floor (Australia had been buffing himself up for a while so he could impress America). "C'mon Oz, let's get you to bed."

"Those bastardz still treatin' mi like some kid." I continue nodding and listing to Australia's grief as I drag him upstairs. "America keeps cawlin' mi 'Austria' – that's whoi I had to put on this f# &ing drawl and say I'm 'Stralya' now; and Britain keeps putting annoying crowns on mi head and union jack stickers on mi arse. I'm through with 'em!"

When I finally managed to put Big Cuz and heavy body to bed, I sighed and went back downstairs to make a phonecall.

"Hello. Canada?"

[HETALIA!]

_~The Time was WWI~_

"_Oi Britain! I've come oveh feh the Allies meet-OI where'd everybody else go?"_

"_Oh sorry chum. We've already had our meeting. But you can stay for a tea and biscuit and talk about Turkey if you like."_

"_Wot? But I waz gonna troi and play with the other guys today...Now they've awl gone and went without me...Hmph."_

_~Just as Australia (New Zealand was probably there too) was about to leave the door...~_

_*SHOULDERGRAB*_

"_Britain?"_

"_Hang on a tic, you forgot your toy crown."_

_~Then WWII came~_

_~Little Australia (and New Zealand) was starting to get over the taste of tea and biscuits and went over to play with America for a change.~_

"_Um, America I-"_

"_YAHOO~! Yo! Welcome to my place Austria."_

"_Australia."_

"_Yeah that's what I said Austria-buddy. I'm so psyched I finally get to see you. Did you bring all those weird toys you told me about?"_

"_Uh well actually mate I wanted to see if I could join yeh Allies club?"_

"_Oh wait! I've gotta show you this cool video game I bought off Japan the other day, you Austrians have video games right?"_

"_Grr, it's Australia ya moron!"_

"_Sure Scandinavia, I'll getcha some smores! I made them last night – hope you like bacon and honey syrup!"_

_~From then on, everytime Australia went over to America's house, he would eat bacon honey syrup smores and listen to America talk about himself for hours.~_

[HETALIA!]

Hello, it's New Zealand again. Today, my big cousin is meeting some new friends from the Eastern neighbourhoods. I think they were called Japan and China. If I remember, we had a few arguments with Japan a while ago and Australia only started mentioning China recently. Hopefully these new friends will treat him more like an adult and cheer him up.

"AGH F!*& me again! Now whot 'ave I gotten mi'self into?"

At least he doesn't seem as drunk this time when he fall into the door depressed.

"What's wrong Cuz? Don't tell me these new mates of yours aren't any good either?"

"Well fe' starters, one cawlz me 'Osutoraria' and the other calls me 'Odalia' - so my drawl actually made things worse! Then Japan suddenly wohks off and I'm left with China!"

"Okay so then what was China like?"

Suddenly China enters through our front door and waves cheerfully.

"Ni Hao! Could I please have the kitchen and a few other rooms in this house?"

…

In the end, China came and lived with us.

The stress of having a new roommate compelled me to call him again.

...

_#BEEP#BEEP#_

"Um, Canada, are you there? Please answer the phone, I really need to chat bro, you're the only one who really understands me eh?"

_**In the end, New Zealand never heard a response from Canada – though it wasn't like he wasn't answering his calls or anything you see...**_

"_Hello, yes it's Canadia- err um I mean Canada...Y-yes I'm here...U-u-um yes I'm- hello-"_

_**...Canada's voice was just too quiet...Not even New Zealand could hear him! New Zealand for Chrissake!...**_

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Well that was fun wasn't it? Were you offended? If so, I've probably done a good job. New Zealanders and Canadians send me your flames - all two of them! Oh sorry guys, I love you all! Let's draw a circle around the earth and hug later.  


Now I hope you'll review. In three weeks I'm going to move over to Japan's house to watch Anime and study with him. If I don't update again, I'll see everyone next year maybe! 


End file.
